so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
