i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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