Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
