I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
