final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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