i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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