Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
