We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
