i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
