get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
