Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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