i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
