I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
