My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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