I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
