"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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