I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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