We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
