I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
