Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
