I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
