just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
