I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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