your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
