you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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