I look better un-naked...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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