I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
