i just had sex bonerless
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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