I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
