Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
