The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
