I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
