that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
