if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
