You just made me feel so damn special
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
