:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
