All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
