She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
