I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
