sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
