I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
home. puking in laundry basket.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
