you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
