he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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