Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
