kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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