Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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