is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
