you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
