Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
