She went from zero to smokin in five shots
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So much rum. So many feels.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
